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"I Love Cake" is the seventh episode of the second episode of That '70s Show, and thirty-second episode overall. It aired on November 9, 1999.

Synopsis[]

When Donna tells Eric she loves him, he has trouble saying it back; Bob walks out on Midge.

Cast[]

Starring[]

Quotes[]

(Forman driveway, Red comes out of the kitchen, walks by the Vista Cruiser to pick up the morning paper)
RED: Morning, Bob!
BOB (sticks his head out of the back of the cruiser): Mornin’ Red! Probably wondering why I’m in your car eh?
RED: No. Just get out and have a nice day.
BOB: Midgy and I got into a fight Red, and I walked out! Guess that’ll teach her right?
RED: Well, you’re the one sleeping in the car, Bob.
BOB: Right, well, that’s cause when I stormed out, I sort of forgot some stuff. You know, keys, wallet, blowdryer. All I need now is a place to stay...maybe with some friends...?
RED: Well uhhh...we don’t uhh have a blowdryer Bob.
BOB: Laurie’s got a blowdryer, I know! Cause she’s had that Farrah Fawcett hairdo. That’s not natural! You know, I wouldn’t even need my own room, just a little corner to sleep in!
RED: Bob I really... I mean, would you...ahh cripes. Okay.
BOB: Ah thanks Red! You're my best friend.
RED (pats Bob on his back): No, I’m not!
(Forman kitchen, Red is reading his paper, Kitty walks in)
KITTY: Why is Bob in my bathtub? You told me you sent him home, that’s what you said, he went home!
RED: He did go home. And then Midge kicked him out.
KITTY: But he went home!
RED: Well, now he’s back!
KITTY: Red, he is IN my bathtub! I can’t have him in my bathtub! His afro-gel is gonna leave a ring!
RED: This isn’t easy on me either Kitty! He tried to talk to me about his feelings! He almost started to cry! I really wanted to punch him!
KITTY: Bob can’t stay here Red. I know that makes me a bad person, I don’t care. I’m bad so just let’s get him out of here!
RED: Well then, go talk to Midge and fix it up.
KITTY: Ahahahahhh! NO! You let the stray in, you find him a home!
RED: It’s not that simple Kitty.
KITTY: Do you want me to go to my unhappy place Red?
RED: I’ll talk to Midge first thing in the morning...
KITTY: Thank you Red, you wonderful husband. Now, when you’re done with the paper you get upstairs and scrub my tub! Okay (grabs paper out of his hand) you’re done!
RED: I won’t do it!
KITTY: Well I won’t either.
RED: Well I don’t know what the hell we’re gonna do!
(Red knocks on the Pinciotti’s backdoor, Midge answers)
MIDGE: Oh, hi Red! Sorry I can’t open the door, but I don’t want Bob sneaking back into the house again.
RED: That’s okay, I just came by to see how you’re doing.
MIDGE: Oh I’m working through some things. Gotten past denial and I’m well on my way to acceptance...
RED: Yeah well couldn’t agree with you more, well anyway... Take Bob back!
MIDGE: Red I can’t do that right now.
RED: Midge, I’ve talked to Bob, and he’s really sorry. Now be a sport and take him back!
MIDGE: I can’t.
RED: TAKE HIM BACK MIDGE!
MIDGE: NO!
RED: TAKE HIM!
MIDGE: NO! (she closes the window)
RED (pressed against the closed window): THIS ISN’T OVER PINCIOTTI!
(Forman living room. Bob is asleep in a chair, Kitty and Red stand next to him)
RED (whispering): I can’t do it now Kitty, he’s sleeping!
KITTY: (leans over to Bob and shouts) BOOOOOBB! Oh, Bob, you’re awake! (she leaves)
RED: Hi! Let’s see it was ehm it was no go with Midge. She doesn’t wanna see you.
BOB: Boy that’s a shame Red. Guess it’s you and me buddy.
RED: Well that’s a problem. I like you Bob, you don’t borrow my things, you keep your lawn mowed, but the fact of the matter is, you’re a little bit... you’re kind of a... You’re an ass.
BOB: Yeah?
RED: Well it’s not your fault. We’ve gotta stop pussyfootin’ around here and somehow get you back in that house!
BOB: How?
(Red is at the Pinciotti’s backdoor again, he knocks)
MIDGE: Oh, it’s you. I’m NOT taking him back Red!
RED: No no no no, I’m just gonna trim a few of these branches for you.
MIDGE: Okay.
(Red walks away and comes back with a big branch. He lies himself down on the ground and puts the branch on top of him)
RED: HELP! Midge! I’m trapped under this very heavy branch! HELP!
MIDGE (comes outside) : OH MY GOD! RED! Are you hurt?!
RED: GO BOB! GOOOO! (Bob runs for the door, Midge screams)
BOB (inside): I’m IN!!
MIDGE: NOOO! Red, that was NOT nice!
RED: I’m not sorry Midge!

Music[]

I Love Cake at tunefind

Transcript[]

Transcript
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